Merry Christmas, Baka
by gamer4
Summary: Shinji has been planning this Christmas present for a while, now. But, of course, with Asuka Langely Soryu, things are rarely ever that simple... A Christmas oneshot... in Spring!


Gamer4 in! You know, for someone who retains a penname implying an abundance of video-game related stories, and has, so far, opened every single Evangelion story by citing how unusual it was for him to be writing for said fandom, it's becoming increasingly common for me to write for this fandom. What can I say, I just keep getting story ideas for these characters. Not sure how it keeps happening. So, let's have a oneshot Christmas story! In _Spring_!

Disclaimer: As you may have suspected, I am not the writer of _Neon Genesis Evangelion. _Also, as a sidenote (because vanilla disclaimers are just _not _my style,) this story may contain references to my previous Evangelion story, _Once Upon an Evangelion, _but having read that story is by no means necessary to understand this one.

Merry Christmas, Baka

Rei Ayanami leaned back in her bed, eyes focused on the book in her hands. A book entitled, _The Giver, _all about a society where everyone conformed to a set of ideals, with no room for individuality, or even basic emotions. It had been given to her by Asuka Langley Soryu, one of the pilots she worked alongside, who had claimed it might have a deeper meaning for her. So far, Rei failed to see what she meant- how did any of this apply to her life?

Shrugging the question off, she turned the page, only to give a small jump as her NERV-issue cell phone rang. Curious, she examined the device, to find that it was a call from the other pilot she worked alongside, Shinji Ikari. Picking it up, she lifted to her ear. "Hello?" she asked.

"Oh, Ayanami, good, you picked up!" came Shinji's voice.

"What is it, Ikari-kun?" the reserved 'Ice Princess' of NERV asked.

"Are you busy?"

Rei turned to the book on her bed. It was a fascinating read, but if Ikari-kun required assistance, it wasn't anything she couldn't momentarily put on the shelf- no pun intended. "I am not," she responded.

"Great. Meet me at the mall in half an hour, alright?"

"Very well, but... why?"

Shinji took a moment to answer, as though he hadn't expected the question. Usually, Rei just kind of went with what others said, without any questioning as to why. Then again, she seemed to have been opening up more since an incident a few months earlier that still caused him to shudder- when the two of them, along with the aforementioned Asuka, had gotten stuck in the wall of his guardian's apartment.

Finally, he answered. "Well, Christmas is coming up, you know..."

"I do."

Shinji gave a sigh of relief that Rei was, at least, aware of this fact. "Glad to hear it," he said. "Anyways, Misato's holding a party at the apartment, and she's inviting everyone- Dr. Akagi, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Kaji, everyone!"

"And I suppose Pilot Soryu will be there as well?"

"Well, of course- I mean, she lives here to begin with, so-"

"Unfortunate," Rei muttered.

Shinji felt taken aback- it wasn't often that Rei expressed distaste so outright. "I... I guess," he muttered. "Anyways, you're invited, too!"

"I am?" Rei asked, an eyebrow raising.

"Of course- you're part of the gang, too, aren't you?"

Rei felt very wrong-footed- this was a situation she had very little experience with. "I... I suppose so," she muttered. Realizing something, she spoke up again. "However, that does not yet explain why you wish to meet at the mall."

"Oh, right," came Shinji's voice, sounding embarrassed. "Well, the thing about that is..." A pause, and Rei took the time to imagine Shinji glancing around, ensuring nobody else was listening in, "The thing is, like we mentioned, Asuka's going to be there, and I was planning on... you know... confessing."

"Confessing?" Rei asked, tilting her head. "Confessing what?"

"I..." Shinji was having a tough time thinking of how to explain it. "I want to tell her... how much I care for her!"

The words came tumbling out of him. Rei froze. "You... you care for her?" she asked slowly.

"Very much," Shinji agreed. "And I think it's about time I grew a backbone and just let her know."

Rei didn't know what to say next, but she finally decided on, "And... the mall?"

"Oh, right- well, I wanted to get her a Christmas present- something good, something that will convey how I feel, and... well, I thought I'd ask you to help me."

"You value my opinion?" Rei asked slowly.

"Well, of course, I mean, you are one of my best friends."

For a long moment, silence fell on the phone line. Shinji looked at his phone, wondering what had happened. Had the connection been lost, somehow? Had something happened to Rei herself? After all, she lived in that old, run-down apartment in the worst part of Tokyo-3, all on her own...

"Rei?" he asked tentatively. "Rei? Are you there?"

Still no answer. Shinji looked at his phone, just to make sure. No, the connection hadn't been lost, nor the call ended. He looked at the phone's clock- it had been a full three minutes since he'd spoken, and Rei still hadn't answered. "Rei, are you there?" he asked more urgently.

Finally, Rei's voice came through again. "I am here," she announced. "I will arrive at the Tokyo-3 mall momentarily. I will... see you in half an hour."

With that, the call ended. Shinji looked at his phone in bewilderment. _What was that all about? _

Rei hung up the phone on her end as well, before turning back to her own apartment. "He considers me... to be one of his... 'best friends?'" she wondered out loud.

She thought back to the conversation, and all the things she'd said in response to Ikari-kun's statement. The warmth she felt at being designated somebody's 'best friend,' at being included in such a social event, let alone being trusted enough to offer her opinion on whatever gift Shinji sought to give to Asuka...

And then she remembered the surprise that had registered when she realized she'd said none of this out loud.

She shook her head as she began preparing for the outing with Shinji. "Fascinating..."

XXX

"Kaji! Welcome!" Asuka cried out in pleasure as she welcomed the aforementioned unshaven man into her apartment.

"Good to be here, Asuka!" he smiled down at her. "Got my presents in tow. Anyone else here?"

"Nah, just Misato and two of the three stooges," Asuka shook her head.

"Ah, Misato's here, is she?" Kaji asked, his eyes brightening up, and causing no small amount of disdain in Asuka's eyes. "Well, I'll just have to stop by and... say hello."

Asuka felt distinctly disgruntled as Kaji stepped in and immediately set his eyes to scanning around the apartment for Misato, passing directly over Toji and Kensuke, who, sure enough, had monopolized the TV to play some Super Smash Bros. Toji was currently Link, swordsman of Hyrule, while Kensuke played the role of Ness, hero of Eagleland. And they were both currently getting their heads handed to them by Samus, bounty hunter of... the Universe, really.

"Oh, come _on!_" Toji voiced his displeasure as the AI sent them flying again. "I know she's on 9, but _still_!"

Kaji, meanwhile, diverted his attention to the lavender-haired major in the kitchen, knocking back a couple beers for a change.

"You don't want to be taking too many of those in," he muttered, smiling as he took a seat next to hers.

"If I have to deal with _you _tonight, I do," Misato answered, trying to keep it cold, but failing.

"Hey, you're the one who invited me here," Kaji objected, smiling brightly. "Besides, you want to have some room for your first present." As he spoke, he reached into the large bag he'd brought with him, with all the air of Saint Nicholas pulling a long-desired toy from his pack.

Misato gasped as she saw the bottle of wine he'd managed to produce. She wasn't exactly a connoisseur, but she could appreciate fine wine as much as the next person, and more than others. "You know me too well," she muttered, taking in the magnificent bottle.

"Exquisite and perfectly aged," Kaji smiled. "But let's talk about the wine for a moment, shall we?"

Misato blinked, not even sure how to respond to something like that- even whether to get happy or angry- but was spared the trouble of deciding at another outburst from the gamers on the couch.

"Freaking 9!" Toji shouted.

"You want to kick the difficulty back a bit?" Kensuke suggested.

"No! She is going _down_, whether she likes it or _not!"_

"Why don't you give me a try, stooges?" Asuka asked, sitting down next to them and taking a controller. The other two watched as she confidently chose her character, set out into the game, and... was promptly curbstomped by a very angry-looking Greninja. "_Scheisse!" _she shouted. "Who _made _this game?!"

Next to arrive was Hikari, carrying her own bag of presents as she entered. Misato answered. "Hey," Hikari spoke up. "Asuka doing alright?"

"...Debatable," Misato admitted.

"You overgrown freaking frog! I'm gonna kill you!" came a shout from the living room.

Hikari smiled as she looked in to see Toji and Kensuke cheering Asuka on, only to seem almost as disappointed as she did when she arrived at Greninja, only to be soundly defeated once more.

"Hey," she smiled, dropping her presents by the tree. "Mind if I sit in for a game?"

"Be my freaking guest! I've had it- they designed this game to be impossible, that's all there is to it!" Asuka growled, thrusting the controller to Hikari.

Hikari casually sat down and, to the amazement of everyone present, proceeded to blaze through every single fighter, making it all the way up to the Master Core- where she proceeded to go flying on the screen in a spectacular explosion.

"Well..." she muttered, staring at her character's death animation.

"Hey, at least you did better than any of us did," Toji pointed out, surprisingly not sounding bitter at all. Though Hikari gave a smile of acknowledgement, this didn't stop her from beginning the game fresh, and setting off once more, determined to come out victorious.

XXXX

It wasn't until much later, and the arrival of Dr. Akagi, that Shinji and Rei finally arrived. Preparation had taken much longer than Shinji had anticipated, but, in his personal opinion, if everything worked, it would be well worth it. Unbeknownst to Asuka, just about everyone had been lending a hand in his efforts to woo the girl, including pointers from Misato, Hikari, and, most especially, Kaji, advice on everything from what the girl might want as a present, to what to wear for the occasion, and even a cologne that Kaji had lent him. He wasn't quite _wearing _anything special yet, but he planned on getting ready in his room. And, of course, Rei had chipped in to assist in finding the perfect gift to wrap everything up. And now, he stood in front of the apartment. "Sounds like everyone else is here already," he said softly.

"It would certainly appear so," Rei quietly agreed. Though Shinji was dressing somewhat more formally than normal, she had forgone any attempt at following the example, simply dressing in her school uniform as, as usual.

On the inside, Dr. Akagi was sitting on the couch, twiddling dials and pressing buttons rapidly. _This is ridiculous, _she thought to herself. _A graduate of the top college in Japan, _with honors, _one of the top scientists in the world, creator of Evangelions, and here I am, getting my head handed to me by a freaking _mouse_!_

Sure enough, she, like all the players before her, had met her white whale, this time in the form of Pikachu, annihilating her with one electric attack after another. Everyone had tried their hand at it at some point, Misato getting stonewalled by Kirby, while Kaji had met his match in the form of Sonic the Hedgehog, leading to everyone gathering around the TV, desperate to see somebody, _anybody, _beat this game, put it in its place!

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Dr. Akagi muttered- she'd secretly been looking for an excuse to get out of this. She rose to her feet and headed to the apartment's front door, where she found Shinji and Rei, waiting on the other side, with a bag each over their shoulders. "Oh, hey, you two are running late. I mean, this is _your _apartment, too, isn't it, Shinji?"

Shinji gave an off-handed shrug, and Rei gave almost no sign that she'd even noticed the door was open. Dr. Akagi stood aside to grant them entrance.

"Mega Man! Mega Man!" Hikari was growling as she failed to the blue bomber for the umpteenth time. Asuka, shaking her head, glanced over to see Shinji and Rei approaching. She couldn't help but notice that they seemed to have arrived together- and, though she couldn't say why, this thought annoyed her.

"So, where have _you _been, Third Child?" she asked, looking at him furiously.

Shinji flinched slightly under the German fireball's glare. "Oh, I was just out... shopping," he said quickly. He put his bag of presents next to the tree, careful to extract one particular present from the sack, tucking it into his shirt. It wasn't the most inconspicuous move in the world, and, sure enough, Asuka noticed, turning her back on him in a huff.

"Well, whatever. Want to get to cooking? That _was _supposed to be your job, wasn't it?" Asuka couldn't even explain why she was being so hostile towards the boy- she found herself simply unable to stomach the thought that Shinji had been so late- with Rei.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Shinji nodded, moving to the kitchen. He was planning on making his move later on- there was time to make some dinner first.

As he did this, Rei examined the game. "Would you be averse to me attempting this challenge?" she asked.

"Go ahead," Hikari growled, trying to hide her fury as she simply handed off the controller to the blue-haired enigma.

Rei quietly accepted the controller, sat down, and began her long trek through the fighters. She selected 'random,' and received R.O.B. as her fighter- much to the quiet amusement of Asuka, who had no problem drawing correlations between the two.

Her amusement switched swiftly to fury as Rei began to blaze through the game, taking every single fighter down in short order.

Finally, Shinji felt that enough had been done with the dinner, and he may as well go and get ready. He slipped into his room and began to prepare.

Asuka's temper grew and grew as she watched Rei tear one adversary apart after another. Finally, she arrived at the Master Core- the furthest anyone had gotten. Even Rei had difficulty with this particular fight, but through patience and strategy, she did what nobody before had done, and defeated the monstrosity.

Everyone gaped at the girl as she quietly put down the controller, showing no interest in the credits.

"Well... well done, Rei!" Misato congratulated.

"Certainly did better than I did," Kaji affirmed, nodding. Not, he thought, that he'd been that big of a gamer to begin with...

Dr. Akagi simply gave a blunt nod, while Toji and Kensuke duly began bowing down to her, with Hikari giving an amused smile at their antics. Rei, for her part, seemed entirely indifferent.

Asuka, however, didn't appreciate being beaten in anything, even if it was a game. "Where'd you get all that practice, Wonder girl?" she asked, stepping forward and glaring down at her. "I suppose Shinji's been giving you... private lessons?"

"He has not," Rei shook her head. "This is my first encounter with this game."

"Oh, it _is, _is it?" Asuka asked skeptically.

XXXX

Meanwhile, as this conversation was escalating, Shinji retreated into the bathroom, glancing at the mirror as he applied Kaji's quote, 'lady-killer cologne' unquote. Of course, Misato had been throwing a glare at him even as he described it as such, but if Kaji had recommended it...

He kept his eyes on the mirror, his heart beating more and more rapidly. The time was approaching...

_I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away!_

XXXX

"I do not understand the reason for your hostility," Rei noted, as, with the game beaten, the crowd began to dissipate. Misato, Kaji, and Dr. Akagi returned to the kitchen to sample the wine Kaji hd brought, while Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari replaced the game with another, which they hoped to have more fortune in. Rei, meanwhile, was attempting to reason with the still-fuming Asuka. "Is there a problem? Have I done something to inconvenience you?"

"Problem? Problem? No, I've got no problem with you, _Ayanami,_" Asuka snarled. "Just what were you and Shinji _really _doing out there, hm?"

Rei cast her mind back. She could easily answer truthfully- however, Shinji wanted to keep it a surprise...

"We were simply having some meaningful interaction," Rei replied at last. An innocent statement to most, but not to the already fuming German.

"Meaningful interaction? Meaningful interaction?!" she cried, drawing the attention of the others in the apartment.

"Why do you care so much, Asuka?" Misato asked. Her teasing instincts kicking in, she smiled coyly as she asked, "Not feeling a little jealous, are we?"'

It was at this point that Shinji finally put in his appearance, returning to the room, all dressed up and ready to go, carrying a red package in his hands. Very unfortunately, as what followed was Asuka giving an outburst.

"Jealous?! Of _that... _that... that idiotic _hentai?!_ What has he got to be jealous of?!"

Her eyes raised up to see Shinji standing there, looking taken aback. Far from pacifying her, this seemed to send her into even more of a rage. She leapt forward, pulling him into the room for all to see. There were a few muffled gasps among those who had yet to see him- he had truly dressed up for the occasion, including a red suit and matching red pants. His hair was combed, and while it wasn't styled as much as it could have been, the combing did a lot to clean up his usually-messy hair. He had, overall, very clearly gone to a lot of trouble to clean up.

Not that any of this was making an impression on Asuka. "I mean, just look at him!" she shouted in fury. "He's a brainless, spineless wimp, with nothing special in the looks department, either!"

The rest of the room seemed to feel a wave of cold. Asuka, of course, was the only one there not in the know of why Shinji had dressed up the way he had. "Asuka," Misato muttered warningly.

Asuka, heedless, plowed ahead. "I mean, he can try to comb his hair, but it's still just as much of a greasy mess as ever- and combing it back just shows more of his revolting face! Have you even _heard _of acne medication, Third Child?! And like dressing up is going to make you more attractive- you're just showing off those triangle man-boobs of yours like they're something to be proud of! And, of course, no pants you wear would ever endear any woman to you- just remind them every time they see any other pairs like it of the boy with the smallest... you know... in the world! Really, _who are you trying to impress_?!"

Everyone stared in horror as Asuka really built into overdrive, shouting any insulting thing that came to mind. Taking a deep sniff, Asuka gave a grunt of disgust. "And then you rip off some of Kaji's cologne, like you think just because it works for him, it might somehow cover up the stench of defeat and failure that's all over you?! Who are you dressing up for? Who do you think this present of yours is going to impress, you pathetic, spineless... lump... of..."

Her words died in her mouth as she ripped the red-wrapped package from his hands and examined the card.

_Dear Asuka,_

_I wish you all the happiness in the world. Merry Christmas,_

_Shinji._

For a long moment, silence fell over the procession. Asuka's mouth dropped open in a simple gape, all the details finally becoming clear to her. Red wrapping, the red clothes... her favorite color. The cologne borrowed from the man she was always pining after...

Everyone else stared at the two for a moment. Finally, Asuka looked up at Shinji, stammering over her words. "I... I..."

Shinji looked like he was on the verge of tears. "You always say the most terrible things..." he choked out, head hanging as he stepped past her and to the front door of the apartment, where he made his exit.

For yet another moment, everyone stared after him. The person to break the silence was, of all people, Rei Ayanami, who stood and turned to face Asuka. Asuka met her eyes, surprised to see something like fire burning there, despite the girl's usual passive appearance.

*SMACK!*

The sound of Rei slapping Asuka echoed through the silent apartment.

"He had been planning this for a week," she said coldly. "He called me earlier to ask me to help him find the perfect present. He has been asking everyone's advice on how to make you happy, planning everything out for a week, only to have you throw it all back in his face."

Asuka's eyes roved around the room, falling on Kaji, who nodded, confirming Rei's words. "Lent him my cologne... as you could tell."

One by one, everyone else nodded, confirming their own complicity in Shinji's efforts.

Rei spoke again. "He has never been anything but kind to you, and you have never done anything but treat him like dirt. I do not know what he sees in you, but he is my friend, so I assisted him nonetheless. That is why we were late- preparations took longer than we had previously thought. Merry Christmas."

With that, Rei turned and stepped out of the door.

For a long moment, Asuka gazed after them, shock still evident in her eyes. Slowly, she looked back down at the package, and began to unwrap it. Inside was a box, and inside of that was a golden chain, connected to a locket at the end. Opening it up, she found that neither side had yet been blessed with a picture, returning her attention to the overall wonderful design of the locket at large.

A drop of water landed on the finely crafted gold, and she realized that tears were beginning to form in her own eyes as well. Slowly, she spoke. "I... need some air."

XXXX

Asuka spent a long night outside, walking around Tokyo-3 in search of the Third Child. Her first instinct had been to check Rei's apartment, but the First Child had announced, with ice evident in her voice, that Shinji had not been there. _Then where are you, baka?_

The park? Empty. Hanging around the school? Nope, not there, either. The outlook over the city that had become something of a favorite spot for him? Absent.

It was getting increasingly late when her cell phone rang. Answering, it turned out to Misato, who informed her that the party had ended somewhat prematurely, with everyone filtering out after the incident. She also noted that Shinji had returned home, wordlessly returning to his regular clothing and climbing into bed right away.

Asuka found herself cursing as she hung up. "Dang it, the baka went back _home?_" she muttered, turning and beginning a long sprint back.

XXXX

That night, she found herself entering Shinji's room quietly. He was curled up on his futon, but she could tell he wasn't quite asleep yet.

"Shinji?" she muttered quietly. "Are you awake?"

Shinji gave a slight jerk, but gave no other indication he'd heard her.

Asuka sat down, and began to speak. She told him how sorry she was, apologizing for all the hurt she caused him, both during the party and beforehand, for her verbal and, on rare occasion, physical abuse. She explained about the wall that she'd constructed around herself since the death of her mother, so afraid of being hurt like that again, but added on that she didn't want that wall up anymore, not if it was causing him this much pain. She wasn't making excuses for her behavior, she added quickly, but if he was willing to try again... so was she.

"Asuka?" came Shinji's quiet voice. "Are you still there?"

Asuka looked up at him, realizing she hadn't said any of this out loud.

Slowly, she laid down next to him. "I'm here," she said quietly. "And... I wish you all the happiness in the world, too."

She placed a hand over his shoulder, and felt his hand reach up and grasp hers in kind. The smallest of smiles crossed her face. Maybe things were going to be alright after all.

"Merry Christmas, baka," she muttered quietly.

_XXXX_

And... when in doubt, end on the title. This story is another one that entered my head earlier today, and just had to be written. A couple lines, as well as the whole scene with the present itself, draw large inspiration from that show on the BBC, Sherlock. It's not as big a parallel as most of my stories, but if anyone's seen said show, they'll be able to tell.

And, yet another Evangelion story under my belt, and still with many ideas on the way. I'm trying to do all the justice to these characters that they deserve, so, to tell me whether I'm succeeding or not, and to give advice on how to do so better, please R&amp;R, constructive criticism embraced, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out.


End file.
